fbp

Why a new blog!  Well, I looked at the Web and found very few blogs written by campsite wardens. How has the world survived with this glaring omission?  So – here’s my attempt to rectify that situation.  It will be your window into the world of a warden – if you are the sort of person that likes peering through windows then this is for you!

Let’s start with that ever popular blog staple – Frequently Asked Questions (or FAQ)

Q1) I’ve always fancied being a warden. Would you recommend it?

A) Yes…..I love it – but read on

Q2) Will I get incredibly rich working as a warden?

A) No – but you might get free toilet fluid.

Q3) OK, so will I at least get well paid working as a warden?

A) No – go back to the last answer. I’m beginning to doubt your motivation.

Q4) So what should my motivation be?

A) If you want to enjoy the job you need to enjoy meeting and helping people. Here at Woodovis people are always commenting on how friendly and helpful we are but it’s easy because we are naturally cheerful and friendly and enjoy meeting and helping people – it’s why we do the job. I once stayed for 3 weeks on a site belonging to one of the major clubs. In all that time the Wardens never once spoke or even made eye contact. They had faces whose default setting seemed to be “abject misery and resentment”. That sort of thing is catching and this sort of person is in the wrong job.

Q5) So how do you stay so happy and friendly?

A) I can’t speak for the others but I smoke the funny plants I grow behind the swimming pool

Q6) Really????

A) No (I rely on gin)

Q7) Can I drive the mower??

A) Not until you’ve unblocked your share of toilets and beat the other Wardens in a fistfight.

Q8) Do I get to tell people how to pitch? Not to park on the grass?

A) You get to “tell” people where the best pubs are (worryingly, all Wardens are experts on local pubs!), where to go for a great day out, where the quietest/sandiest/ most dog-friendly beaches are etc. You get to “suggest” to people the best way to park on the pitch so they get the sun for the longest time.

Q9) OK, I get it. But surely you “tell” people to put their dog on a lead?

A) Only as a very last resort. My first approach is to talk to the dog – “Hello boy. Looks like you’ve managed to slip your lead!” Most people take the gentle hint. If not we ask their owner really nicely and point out where they CAN let their dog run free. Please note – if the dog starts talking back try smoking fewer of the plants mentioned in Question 5.

Q10) I bet you meet some real awkward customers don’t you?

A) Not really. All of us (that’s six wardens, two housekeepers and John and Dorothy who own the site) discussed this and we could think of only 5 in the last 5 years (and two of those were the same people on two occasions.) That’s a vanishingly small number compared to the thousands that have stayed with us at Woodovis. Our theory is that this is due to something we call “friendly breeds friendly”. We always say that people will treat you the way you treat them. I remember feeling slightly stroppy every time I passed the wardens I mentioned in Question 4 without knowing quite why. Now I do.

Q11) Will you be writing more of this fascinating stuff?

A) Just try and stop me! If you have any questions you’d like answered just drop me an email. More next month.

One Response to “A Warden’s Life”

  1. Fredmoses says:

    Hi. Great blog. So let me got the comments section started by asking how you would cope with a customer who got exactly what she asked for, then on leaving complains she didn’t get what she wanted? On showing the guest a copy of her email proving she had indeed been supplied with her requested accommodation she replied it was still my fault as I should have known what she wanted! Mind reading was not on the list of attributes required when I started but perhaps it’s an E.U directive I’m unaware of. Hey ho off to find the Gin.

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